I should change the name of this blog to "why the fuck do I date Suzanne?"Because it seems all I do is write about the struggles we have in our relationship. It pisses me off that she doesn't "trust" anyone, in part because of her childhood, but at what point does she look at herself? She pulls PA shit all the time, but she wants to reverse situations on anyone else...I'm weary of always being in conflict; I'm tired of her being sad and beaten down about her situation at school...I think she's bi-polar...maybe I don't want to deal with a gf with shit issues. I don't know how to work through this....I'm tired of being a roller coaster; I'm just as guilty...does she really care for me? Do I really care for her? Or we just convenient for each other? Am I being anxious? Am I reactive? Can make her happy? Is she doing the same for me? How difficult would it be to walk away from Suzanne?What are my shortcomings? God, where are you in this? What is the ache that I'm feeling in my heart?